The Philadelphia Eagles have been aggressive throughout the post-lockout free agent signing period. Today, they might have scored the ultimate coup in free agency history. Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the NFL, signed a 5 year, $100 million contract with another $100 million in signing bonus money. Immediately after signing the monster deal, Goodell instituted a new NFL rule whereby it is illegal to tackle him. Any violation of this rule would result in a fine, suspension or permanent ban from the league. Reporters asked Goodell about his new status as a player. Goodell said, “Players made comments during the lockout that I wasn’t worthy of being the commissioner because I didn’t play in the NFL. Well, after much consideration, I have decided to take my talents to South Philly”. No word yet on what position Goodell might play.
NOTE: This article is all in jest. I have no evidence that Goodell has signed any agreement with the Eagles.
Photo taken by: JASON DeCROW / Associated Press